


Parachute

by upsgirl88



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Filling In the Gaps, Merhayes, Oneshot, Romance, Season 17
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:41:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upsgirl88/pseuds/upsgirl88
Summary: I'm sure I'm not the only one who really wanted Meredith to go to Hayes office for that whiskey :)  This is just a little scene I had in my mind that might have happened if she had of went to see him.
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Cormac Hayes
Comments: 21
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well Grey's is back and with it my MerHayes obsession has returned with a vengeance. I hope we get some really sweet scenes like this. And I really hope you all enjoy. Thank you so much for reading and for loving these two like I do.

Hayes had all but given up on Meredith joining him for a drink in his office when there was a light knock on the door. “Come in,” he called out, praying he would see the one he wanted to see when the door opened. 

A smile spread across his face when Mer walked in. There was a warmth inside him whenever she was around and he wasn’t ready to really think about what it meant, but he knew he liked the way it felt. “Hey,” she said, returning the smile. He couldn’t see her mouth behind the mask she was wearing, but he could always tell when she was smiling by the way her eyes sparkled. “I hear there’s some great Irish whiskey in here?” 

“Absolutely,” Hayes replied. “Lock that behind you,” he added. Mer raised her eyebrows and gave him an amused look. He chuckled. “Not sure I know you well enough for that either… not quite yet…” He replied, as the warmth inside him increased. She turned and locked the door. “I’m guessing whiskey shots aren’t an approved workplace activity. Don’t need to get on Bailey’s bad side.” 

“You definitely don’t want to be on her bad side,” Mer agreed with a chuckle. He poured a little whiskey into two glasses and handed her one as she approached. She pulled off her mask and raised the glass. “To getting to know each other better,” she said. They clinked glasses and both took a sip. “Mmm, that is sooooo good,” she groaned. 

“Teeling,” he replied. “It’s from a newer distillery in Dublin, but I think they’re going to be around for a while.” Hayes took another drink and enjoyed the creamy rich whiskey and the burn as it went down. “Wanna sit?” He asked. 

Meredith nodded and took a seat across the desk from him. She looked completely exhausted, but that was just par for the course. They were all working harder than ever, pulling extremely long shifts. But more than anything else it was the emotional toll of the current situation that was getting to everyone. He was trying to think of something to say to take her mind off the stressful day she’d had. “So Deluca seems much better.” Why? Why was that the first thing that came to mind? He asked himself. 

She took it in stride and replied without hesitation. “He’s doing really well. Between the meds and the therapy he really seems to be on the right track… finally.” 

Hayes had struggled with how Andrew had treated Mer. He told himself over and over that Deluca was sick and not in his right mind, but even knowing that didn’t really help. He mostly stayed out of it because it really wasn’t any of his business and he didn’t want to make things worse for her, but there were a time or two that he’d spoken up and he didn’t regret saying something. “So are you two…” He started, already regretting it before he finished his question. “Sorry, that’s none of my business.” 

Meredith eyed him, her eyes sparkling as bright as ever, even through her exhaustion. “We’re just friends,” she said evenly, a hint of a smile on her lips. Hayes wasn’t quite sure what to make of her expression, but at least she wasn’t angry or annoyed with him for asking. 

Things were going well so far, so he prodded a little more. “Does he know that?” 

“Maybe not explicitly,” she admitted. “But I think he’s got a pretty good idea that we’re never going back to where we were before.” Hayes nodded. “He needs all the friends he can get…” Her voice trailed off and she regarded him with that mysterious stare she had. 

It took him a second, but he realized she was talking about him. As the words came out of his mouth he realized that she already had some weird power over him that made him want to do whatever he could to make her happy, even if it meant being nice to a man he really wasn’t overly fond of. “I’ll do my best.” 

“Thank you,” she replied, before finishing the last drink of her whiskey. He lifted the bottle to ask if she wanted more. “I better not. I’ve gotta drive.” She set the glass on his desk and yawned. 

“I really appreciated your help today,” Hayes said softly. He’d tried not to talk about work, but the surgery was a win and they all needed a win. 

“Are you kidding me? Thank you for asking,” She replied enthusiastically. “All I’ve done for weeks is watch people die. It felt amazing to hold a scalpel again.” 

“How are you holding up?” He asked. Everyone was handling it a little differently. He knew she was strong, but this world they were living in… this reality… it was like nothing they had seen before. 

Mer shook her head. “I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m tired. Every single day I watch people die and I can’t do anything. Before, when patients came to me there were options. We would do surgery. We would save lives. There was hope. Yeah, we don’t save them all but at least there was something we could try in most cases.” The pain in her voice cut deep. He understood completely and he felt everything she was feeling. “This virus… it’s… it… it makes me feel like I have no control. People come in, then end up on a vent… and so many of them die. Healthy people, sick people, young people, old people… it doesn’t matter.” She looked at him and he could see the tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sick of losing people. I’m sick of failing.” 

He stood up and slowly walked around to her side of the desk. “Leon Dorsey. Amanda Preston. Mary McLeod. Steven Cross.” He watched her face change as he spoke those four names. “You discharged 4 people today - covid free. Those four people are going home to their families because they came here and you gave them the best care possible and saved their lives.” 

“You know the names of my patients?” Meredith looked awestruck. 

He shrugged. “I study the board.” 

“There are 50 names on that board - you can’t possibly remember them all,” She accused, still looking shocked. 

“Okay, so I look at mine and sometimes I look at yours.” Hayes was still trying to play it off as no big deal. “Cristina asks about you whenever I talk to her so I have to pay attention. She’s a damn drill sergeant.” Meredith smiled at the mention of her friend’s name and he could easily tell how much she missed her. “Listen, I know this is totally against protocol, but it’s just the two of us here and I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.” He opened his arms and offered a hug. “You just look like you could really use one right now.” 

She stood up slowly and stepped into his embrace. Hayes wrapped his arms around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. It was comfortable and easy, like they had done it many times before even though they had never hugged before. “It’s our little secret,” she said softly, tightening her grip around his body. 

Even though he wasn’t an overly physical person, it was still one of the most difficult parts of covid. To not be able to greet someone with a handshake or give his young patients a high five, to back away from a grateful parent who just wants to express their gratitude with a thankful embrace… it was truly heartbreaking at times. Holding Mer in his arms like that and feeling her hug him back… it really helped. Just that little bit of intimate human contact felt incredible. It took things to another level though, because it was her. 

“How many masks have you given away to nurses?” She asked, her voice a soft whisper. 

“Dunno. As many as I can,” Hayes replied. “If my mask can survive another day I give one of them my new one. We are so short of PPE and they need it as much, maybe more, than we do.” 

She drew back and looked at him. “You’re a good guy.” It was a statement. A fact. She didn’t sound surprised or skeptical, she just stated it as a truth. Hayes shrugged a bit. He wasn’t looking to impress anyone with his selflessness. He just wanted everyone to be safe. “Humble too,” she teased. 

Hayes was pleasantly surprised when she initiated the hug once again. He touched her silky hair and closed his eyes. He realized that he needed the hug as much as she did… maybe even more. It suddenly struck him that he’d been freefalling and her embrace was like a parachute, offering him a soft landing instead of a deadly impact. 

Her hand lightly stroked his back and the warmth inside him intensified. He hadn’t held another woman since his wife passed away and it was a bit scary because he was finally beginning to understand what the feelings he was having truly meant. He was attracted to Mer and he was intrigued to find out where it could go, if anywhere. 

He felt her body tense and realized she was yawning. “You need to get some rest,” he said, reluctantly pulling back. 

“I know,” she sighed, releasing him. “Thank you for this. I’m really glad you texted me.” 

“Anytime,” he whispered. 

“You want to walk out with me?” she asked. 

He desperately wanted to say yes, but he promised a patient he would check in before he left. “I’m so sorry, I have to go check on a patient quickly before I go.” He would have asked her to wait, but he knew she was dead on her feet and needed to get out of there. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Mer replied. She picked up her mask and put it back on. “Hey,” she said, pausing at the door. “Tell Cristina I’m fine when she asks. I have some pretty amazing people looking out for me.” He saw her eyes sparkle again and wished he could see the beautiful smile that went along with it. 

Hayes nodded. “Night Grey.” When she left he gathered his things and headed off to see his patient on the way out. 

He didn’t expect to see Mer again that night. He certainly hadn’t expected to find her lying on the ground in the parking lot. As he screamed for help and adrenaline took over his entire body all he could think about was saving the woman who had just knocked down all of his walls without even trying. “Come on Mer, come on,” he pleaded, holding her head. “Don’t leave me. I need you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to continue this one and try to follow along with the show a bit just to see where it goes and how things develop. If it doesn't go the way I want or I feel the need to add more detail, like this chapter, than I might veer from canon. We'll just see how it goes. I would love to hear what you all think!

Covid 19 positive. Three words that no one ever wanted to hear in reference to someone they cared about - family, a friend, a coworker. But that was exactly what he’d heard a few days earlier. Meredith had collapsed in the parking lot and he’d taken care of her until Teddy and Deluca took over. A bag of fluids and sleep… that’s all he hoped she needed, but of course they did a covid test and of course the bad news spread through the hospital like wildfire. It was a stark reminder that this virus didn’t play favorites. If the enigmatic Meredith Grey could get it they were all at risk. 

Hayes had offered to help in a different unit because pediatrics was thankfully very quiet. He’d considered heading upstairs to Grey’s unit so he could keep an eye on her, but he decided against it. She had enough people hovering around worrying about her and he knew she would tire of the attention quickly, if not immediately. One thing he knew about her was that Meredith Grey didn’t like people doting on her. 

The first few days after her diagnosis he’d asked about her any time he ran into someone who might know. Richard, Bailey, Maggie, Teddy… even Deluca, who he had tried to become more civil with because he knew it’s what Meredith wanted. He tried not to ask the same person twice so it didn’t seem like he was overly interested. But the truth was, he couldn’t stop thinking about her and he couldn’t stop worrying. 

For three days the updates were mostly good news. She was asking to go to a hotel, she was bossing people around, she wanted to get back to work… typical Grey. But that afternoon she’d collapsed again and scans showed that her lungs were getting bad. Hayes couldn’t have predicted the toll that news would take on him. It brought back memories and feelings of when he’d been given the news that his wife was terminal. He didn’t understand why he was comparing two very different things. His wife… his wife, the love of his life… why was Meredith’s illness bringing back memories of losing her? And why was he immediately thinking the worst? Lots of people survived Covid. But many didn’t. Especially when their lungs started to deteriorate. 

And this was Meredith… not a woman he was married to, not a woman he had two beautiful kids with… they were coworkers, maybe getting close to becoming friends, but nothing more… not yet anyway. There it was again. That thought that kept coming to him at random times. He hadn’t recognized what it was at first, long before they’d shared that drink in his office. 

It seemed like a lifetime ago that he’d held her in his arms and hugged her tightly, but it was in fact only 4 days earlier. He thought about that hug a lot and everything it made him feel. It was becoming pretty clear that he was very attracted to Grey. More than attracted… he felt a connection to her that he’d never felt before, even with his wife. It was a bond that could only come from deep pain and the understanding and empathy of drowning in that same pain as another person. Meredith knew what he’d been through and she understood it because she’d walked the same path herself. The circumstance and the story was different, but the result was the same… they had both lost the person they expected to spend the rest of their lives with, the parent to their children, the one that made them feel whole… the one that could never be replaced. 

Hayes looked at his phone a million times. He wanted to call her. He needed to hear her voice, but he also wanted to see her face. Facetime would work, but still it wasn’t enough. He needed to see her in person. He took a deep breath and headed for the stairs to give him more time to pull himself together so Grey would only see the witty smartass she was used to and not the sappy, worried man that he was trying desperately to keep hidden. 

He stood at the window and called her. She looked even more exhausted than he felt himself. They started the conversation with their usual jokes and banter, but there was something he needed to talk to her about. He’d been through the power of attorney situation with his wife, he knew what it was all about and he had some advice for her. He told her to write down everything she wanted and choose someone who would make sure her wishes were followed, someone who would fight for her. He had no idea who she would choose. They joked about it being him, but he knew it wouldn’t. He wasn’t the right person. He hadn’t been the right person for his wife and he wouldn’t be the right person for Grey either. Even though he joked that he didn’t care about her or her kids, they both knew that wasn’t true at all. 

“Get some sleep,” he told her, as he watched her fight to stay awake for him. The next words that came out of her mouth shocked him deeply. She was scared if she went to sleep she wouldn’t wake up. Meredith Grey was scared and on top of that… she was admitting it to him. As heartbreaking as it was to hear, there was also a feeling of honour that he was the one she had chosen to admit her worries to. That feeling of honour made him realize that it was now up to him to ease her worries so she could get the rest she needed so badly. He talked to her about how fierce she was, he reminded her of her strength and how she fought so hard for other people. “This virus has nothing on you,” he finished. 

He saw the weak smile on her face as she hung up and then he stayed and watched while she closed her eyes and fell asleep. His heart was hurting. He couldn’t get rid of the images in his mind of all the times he’d watched his wife close her eyes, wondering if he would ever see them open up again. And the final time...the last time. This is not the same thing, he told himself as he walked away. Meredith is going to beat this and she’s going to survive. He stopped at a supply closet and walked inside to compose himself. 

“Oh,” a voice said. “Hayes,” Maggie sniffed. “I can go,” she added, wiping the tears from her eyes. He knew why she was crying, ironically for the very same reason he’d walked into that room. 

“You don’t need to go,” he said softly. “I just went to see her,” Hayes added, letting Maggie know that he understood. 

“I’m scared,” she whispered, as a few more tears dripped down her cheek. “I can’t lose her.” 

He found a box of kleenex and reached out to offer her one. “She’s scared too,” he said. Maggie looked up in surprise. “She just told me. But don’t you dare tell her I said anything or she’s going to kick my ass when she gets better. She will get better Maggie. She’s going to survive this.” Meredith’s sister didn’t need to hear anything but hope. He could have been brutally honest and admitted how grave the situation was, but what was the point of that? As a doctor they were told not to give families false hope… but he wasn’t Mer’s doctor and he knew what Maggie needed to hear because he knew what she was going through. False hope didn’t make it any worse when someone you loved died because it was already the worst pain imaginable. But staying positive while they were still alive so you could make the best of every second was important. No one needed their last memories to be tainted with doom if they didn’t need to be. They didn’t know if Meredith would live or die, but while she was still alive they all needed to believe she was going to pull through. 

“She told you?” Maggie asked, still looking shocked. 

Hayes shrugged. “She knows I wouldn’t freak out over it like the rest of you,” he said with a half grin. “And she knew I would talk some sense into her because she needed a reminder of how strong she is and what a fighter she is.” There was a hint of a knowing smile on Maggie’s lips and he realized that maybe he’d said a little too much. 

“You care about her,” she said, with a lightly accusatory tone. 

“Don’t you dare tell her that,” he warned. 

Maggie put her mask back on and touched his shoulder on the way by. “I’m not making any promises,” she said before heading out the door. Hayes sighed. This really wasn’t a good time for someone else to see what he’d been trying to keep hidden, but he also felt a vow brewing inside that he finally allowed to come into his mind. If she gets better I’ll ask her out, let her know how I really feel, he thought. No...when... she gets better, he corrected the thought. He honestly didn’t know what was going on with her and Deluca these days. She said they were just friends, yet it was obvious Andrew was still madly in love with her. But the truth was, Hayes really didn’t care. He would put the offer on the table and leave it up to her. 

Cormac didn’t have time to think anymore because his pager went off and he had to run. It turned out there was a crazy case where a fetus was attached to a woman’s liver and they needed to do an emergency c-section to remove the baby. He spent the next few hours doing what he does best - saving a premie. He realized afterwards that he’d needed the distraction, but the second the baby was in the NICU, stable and safe, his thoughts returned to Grey. 

He wondered how she was doing and resisted the urge to go back up there and check on her again. There was something else he needed to do though. Someone had told Alex what was going on, but he was pretty sure there was someone else very important to Meredith that would have no idea. Hayes pulled out his cell and sent a text: Call Meredith, right away. 

Cristina’s reply was instant, even though a quick calculation told him it was the middle of the night over there. But she often worked insanely long shifts, so it was no surprise. He read the response: Why? What’s wrong? Is she okay? 

Hayes tapped the screen and replied: Just call her. There was no text back, which he was pretty sure meant that Cristina was doing as she was told. That didn’t happen easily very often, but he knew that Meredith meant a lot to Cristina and if she had any clue there was something wrong she would get in touch immediately. 

He finished up some paperwork and then went to check on the baby. It was getting late and he knew he should be heading to his hotel room to rest up and recharge for another long day. If he didn’t get there soon he wouldn’t get a chance to Skype with Liam and Austin before they went to bed. 

Hayes was just walking out when he felt his phone buzz. There was a text from Mer: Thank you. 

He was already smiling when he replied: For what? 

He could see the bubbles indicating she was typing and after quite a while a long text popped up: Cristina. She didn’t tell me, but I know it was you. Will you come see me again when you get a chance? 

Hayes stopped walking. Did she mean right away? His heart did a little flutter at the thought of her asking to see him. But there was also a twist in his stomach because he really needed to talk to his boys. He stared at the screen trying to decide if he should run back upstairs and see what she wanted or head home and have that Skype session he’d been looking forward to.


End file.
